6 years ago
Hottest Soccer Players in the World Cup
  • Posted Jun 13, 2014
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Yesterday marks the opening match of the 2014 World Cup, where the hottest soccer players from across the globe get hot and sweaty on the field. While a three-hour game with no score can bring a girl to tears from boredom, the thought of a shirtless Cristiano Ronaldo is enough to make me shout “VIVA FÚTBOL” from my living room.

Let’s be real, the sexy players are the real focus of these games. And it can be so difficult to pay attention when those boys flash their hamstrings, or rip sweaty jerseys off to expose their ripped abs. Here are the absolute hottest soccer players of FIFA 2014.

Cristiano Ronaldo

This hunk is old news, but still one of the hottest hotties in the game. He is basically the only Portuguese guy who’s name I know, and I’m content with that. With a smile like that, I almost forgot about the dreaminess of the entire Manchester team… not to mention he’s totally rich.

Fernando Torres

A blonde Spaniard is already such a commodity, and he’s 6’1 to boot. For the World Cup, he plays with Spain, but he is also a member of Chelsea, a notoriously badass team. I sort of want him to lose so I can see him get angry – aggression is extremely appealing on the field.

Joe Hart

If it’s not clear by now, I am a sucker for tall guys. At 6’5, Hart literally melts my heart. This English goalie keeps clean sheets, which I recently learned is a term for preventing the other team from scoring for a whole game. My bedsheets would definitely need to be cleaned on the regular with him around.

Julio Cesar

This man is playing the games in his homeland and representing attractive Brazilians everywhere. He’s another goalkeeper, and my goal is to see him perspiring and flustered in their first match against Croatia. I’ll get a Brazilian blowout and wax for that occasion.

Gerard Pique

I’m not sure what I love more: the fact that at 27 this is his second World Cup or those piercing blue-grey eyes. Considering the former doesn’t really strike my fancy, I’m just going to stare at him for a while. Barcelona should be very proud of this perfect male specimen.

Glen Johnson

In previous seasons, Glen rocked the braids, but this year he’s all about the clean cut. I prefer the braids, if I’m being honest. I would love to be the whey in his protein shake, just to get near those supple lips. Well done, Britain, well done.

Mitchell Langerak

At only 25, this stud is the hottest piece of Aussie meat on the Socceroos. Apparently, the goalies strike a chord with me, and Mitch is no exception. Even though we speak the same language, I’m sure I’d barely be able to decode his accent. Not that I care what he has to say when he’s shirtless.

Geoff Cameron

My favorite defender has got to be Geoff Cameron. Hailing from the east coast, this boy has serious swag. Between his washboard abs and striking features, he’s sure to be rookie of the year in my heart.

Graham Zusi

His passes are smooth, and so is his perfect torso. Zusi is the type of guy I would have swooned over had I seen him on the beach in his Florida hometown. Since making his debut in 2011 as a force to be reckoned with, he’s landed a spot on the national team, as well as in my spank bank.

Obviously, we’re watching the World Cup and hoping someone will take their shirt off at every moment.

Which player would you like in your boudoir?

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