Will Fly You to His Town Will Come To Your Town Will Travel with You
Maui, United States Buenos Aires, Argentina Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Bangkok, Thailand Tokyo, Japan Singapore, Singapore Beijing, China Dubai, United Arab Emirates Bali, Indonesia Dallas, United States Houston, United States
Rather than describe myself...here is what others have said about me…
He's fluent in all languages, including three that only he speaks.
Midgets look up to him.
Ghosts fear him.
He tips an astonishing 100%.
Once while sailing around the world, He discovered a short cut.
When sailing the wind is always at his back.
Panhandlers give him money.
He does Calculus in his head.
He always rounds to five decimal points.
His 7th Inning stretch could last through the 9th…
He's never not sat up straight.
As a toddler he taught others to walk.
At the book store people crowd to see him read.
Athletes seek his autograph.
His passport requires no photo.
He can keep one eye on the past while looking into the future.
When fishing at some point he has to call it quits.
He's never found a penny that wasn't heads up.
When he drives his new car off the lot it increases in value.
His 1913 Duesenberg still has that new car smell.
Though he can't walk on water he's never slipped on ice.
Dolphins love swimming with him.
The aztec calender has his cinco de mayo party chiseled in.
If he were to pass you on the street and not say, «hello» you would still feel like he stopped and asked you about your day.
His body odor smells like cologne
He lives vicariously through himself.
He once taught a German shepherd to bark in Spanish.
He never says something tastes like chicken – not even chicken.
He’s been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into a room.
He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.
He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.
When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad.
His shirts never wrinkle.
He is left-handed. And right-handed.
If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
He has amassed an incredibly large DVD library, and it is said that he never once alphabetized it.
You can see his charisma from space.
The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
If a monument were built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close… due to poor attendance.
His blood smells like cologne.
His organ donation card also lists his beard.
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.
His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.
The pheromones he secretes have been known to affect people miles away, in a slight but measurable way.
His hands feel like rich brown suede.
He owns three sports cars and rents five.
He once taught a horse to read email for him.
He once brought in $13 million at a charity bachelor auction, which was a lot of money at the time.
Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple
He is the most interesting man in the world
Wild fun and crazy!
Oh, and someone who likes stilettos. Nothing is sexier than a lady in 5" heals